Prayer for today:

My prayers fall short…this is how I feel with my pain and lack of answers.  Amen.

Psalm 13

 ¹ How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
   How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
   and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
   How long will my enemy triumph over me?

 ³ Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
   Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
   and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

 ⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
   my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the LORD’s praise,
   for he has been good to me.

Piece’o’Past:

Some of my very favoritest and bestest memories of childhood and teen years were spent at the Gonzalez Bluebonnet Area’s First Christian Church CAMP.  Gonzo will forever hold a special place in my heart.  I fell in and out of love with Jesus and boys, found and have kept some of the best friends of my life and it shaped my life so much that when I strayed, God only let me get so far before He pulled me back to Him because I was already claimed as His child.  The stars on the water and over a hot concrete slab in the middle of Texas & summer helped me to realize that the great Creator of this universe loved me so much not only to create me as well as the earth and constellations, but also to send His Son to save me.

Present:

I had an appointment on Friday with my obstetrician.  The amazing Dr. Oh performed both of my C-sections and handed my 2 beautiful children from my body to my arms.  Dr. Oh has always been very understanding, thoughtful and thorough.  Every time that we go to him with questions, he has a calm and direct way of getting us answers.  After listening to everything that I’ve been through, he believes that my pain can be narrowed down to 1 of 2 things. 

v Option #1:  I have a wonky musculoskeletal issue that was triggered by one thing or another and physical therapy will fix/improve all. 

v Option #2:  It is scar tissue or abdominal adhesion in which he will refer me to a general surgeon.

Although I AM thankful for someone not telling me that this is ‘normal’ and is considering it serious enough to even SAY surgery is a viable option (not that I am looking FORWARD to surgery) it is still frustrating that there is no ANSWER.  I guess narrowing down is the way to go and they HAVE ruled out all of the serious stuff...bowel blockage, colon cancer, meningitis, all other forms of crazy life-threatening issues, PTL… “I don’t know” still isn’t my favorite phrase when it comes to my health. 

I hope that this finds all of my audience in great spirits and that you’ll remember to pause and thank God and the heavens above for your health and loved ones.

Love,

Chan